A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

It turns out Monday was Steve Waterman’s birthday. His site has posters of his map, plus maybe the world’s only Winkel Tripel-critiquing poetry.

Scene: Drawing of twelve different types of maps of the world, laid out in a two by six pattern.

Top Caption: What Your Favorite Map Projection Says About You

First Map: Mercator

Caption: You’re not really into maps.

Second Map: Van der Grinten

You’re not a complicated person. You love the Mercator Projection; you just wish it weren’t square. The Earth’s not a square, it’s a circle. You like circles. Today is gonna be a good day!

Third Map: Robinson

Caption: You have a comfortable pair of running shoes that you wear everywhere. You like coffee and enjoy the Beatles. You think the Robinson is the best-looking projection, hands down.

Fourth Map: Dymaxion

Caption: You like Isaac Asimov, XML, and shoes with toes. You think the Segway got a bad rap. You own 3D goggles, which you use to view rotating models of better 3D goggles. You type in Dvorak.

Fifth Map: Winkel-Tripel

Caption: National Geographic adopted the Winke-Tripel in 1998, but you’ve been a W-T fan since long before “NatGeo” showed up. You’re worried it’s getting played out, and are thinking of switching to the Kavraskiy. You once left a party in disgust when a guest showed up wearing shoes with toes. Your favorite musical genre is”Post-”.

Sixth Map: Good Homolsine

Caption: They say mapping the Earth on a 2D surface is like flattening an orange peel, which seems easy enough to you. You like easy solutions. You think we wouldn’t have so many problems if we’d just elect normal people to Congress instead of politicians. You think airlines should just buy food from the restaurants near the gates and serve that on board. You change your car’s oil, but secretly wonder if you really need to.

Seventh Map: Hobo-Dyer

Caption: You want to avoid cultural imperialism, but you’ve heard bad things about Gall-Peters. You’re conflict-averse and buy organic. You use a recently-invented set of gender-neutral pronouns and think that what the world needs is a revolution in consciousness.

Eighth Map: Plate Carrée (Equirectangular)

Caption: You think this one is fine. You like how X and Y map to latitude and longitude. The other projections overcomplicate things. You want me to stop asking about maps so you can enjoy dinner.

Ninth Map: A Globe!

Caption: Yes, you’re very clever.

Tenth Map: Waterman Butterfly

Caption: Really? You know the Waterman? Have you seen the 1909 Cahill Map it’s based–…You have a framed reproduction at home?! Whoa…Listen, forget these questions. Are you doing anything tonight?

Eleventh Map: Peirce Quincunial

Caption: You think that when we look at a map, what we really see is ourselves. After you first saw Inception, you sat silent in the theater for six hours. It freaks you out to realize that everyone around you has a skeleton inside them. You have really looked at your hands.

Twelfth Map: Gall Peters

Caption:  I hate you.

Hover text:  What’s that? You think I don’t like the Peters map because I’m uncomfortable with having my cultural assumptions challenged?  Are you sure you’re not … ::puts on sunglasses:: … projecting?

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: Drawing of a stick figure in a small sailboat with a triangular sail. The stick figure is sitting aft, holding the tiller with one hand and a line attached to the boom with the other.

Panel Two: The sail starts to belly out with wind.

Panel Three: The stick figure has had to stand up to hold on to the line as the sail bellies out even more.

Panel Four: The stick figure is straining to hold on as the sail has stretched out almost into a balloon shape.

Panel Five: The stick figure falls back as the sail suddenly relaxes into its original shape and a lopsided bubble pops free from it.

Panel Six: The stick figure is sitting aft again, holding the lax line with one hand and scratching his head in bewilderment as the bubble floats gently upward.

Hover text: It only works a few times before you have to capsize the boat in a soap lagoon again.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: Drawing of a stick figure standing on a raised dais and using a pointer to indicate a diagram on a white board.

Person One: “The occulting observatory consists of two parts–the telescope and the discs.”

Panel Two: Close up of diagram. On the left is a sketch labeled “Telescope.”  Several wavy lines are stacked up, running from the right side of the white board to the telescope on the left. The wavy lines are labeled “Light from Star.” In the center, blocking about a third of the rays from reaching the telescope, is a heavy vertical bar labeled “Disc.”

Person One: (off panel) “When the telescope sees a star, a disc is carefully steered to block its light. The procedure is repeated until all stars are covered.”

Panel Three: The stick figure is standing at the edge of the dais, answering questions from the audience.

Audience Member: (off panel) “Wait, all? Why?”

Person One: “I’ll feel better.”

Panel Four: Close up of stick figure.

Audience Member: (off panel) “I thought the point was to image extrasolar planets.”

Person One: “The point is that there are too many stars.–It’s been freaking me out.”

Audience Member: (off panel) “What?”

Another Audience Member: (off panel) “He has a point.”

Hover text: Type II Kardashev civilizations eventually completely enclose their planetary system in a Dyson sphere because space is way too big to look at all the time.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: Drawing of a stick figure seated at a table, eating a meal.

Person One: “Can you pass the salt?”

Panel Two: Same scene. The stick figure is lifting his fork.

Panel Three: Same scene.

Person One: I said–

Person Two: (off-panel) I know! I’m developing a system to pass you arbitrary condiments.

Person One: It’s been 20 minutes!

Person Two: (off-panel) It’ll save time in the long run!

Hover text: I find that when someone’s taking time to do something right in the present, they’re a perfectionist with no ability to prioritize, whereas when someone took time to do something right in the past, they’re a master artisan of great foresight.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: Drawing of two stick figures walking along together. One of them is wearing a white hat and the other has shoulder-length dark hair. In the background, drawn in gray, is a stick figure walking by, wearing a backpack and a mohawk and holding a small electronic device that is making “bleep bloop” noises.

White Hat Guy: “See, that’s the problem with the MTV generation–no attention span.

Panel Two: The first two stick figures have turned to talk to each other.

Stick Figure with Hair: “You know, that phrase referred to the 12-19 demographic that formed the core MTV audience in the mid-1980s.

Panel Three: Close up of Stick Figure with Hair.

White Hat Guy:(off-panel) “Uh huh? So?

Stick Figure with Hair: That generation’s now in their 40s.

Panel Four: First two stick figures again. White Hat Guy is scratching the back of his head.

White Hat Guy: “That can’t be right.”

Stick Figure with Hair: Face it: your problem with the MTV generation is their kids.

Hover text: If you identified with the kids from The Breakfast Club when it came out, you’re now much closer to the age of Principal Vernon.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: Drawing of two stick figures. The one on the left, Salesman, is standing in front of a wall display and Customer is facing him.

Salesman: “Interested in updating your antivirus software?”
Customer: “Oh, I wouldn’t need any of that.”

Panel Two: Close up on Customer. With a spiky speech bubble, he declares “I RUN LINUX.”
Panel Three: Customer does a backflip onto a motorcycle.
Panel Four: Customer performs a wheelie on the motorcycle.
Panel Five: Customer does a hard donut turn on the motorcycle, kicking up dirt into the salesman’s face.
Panel Six: Customer speeds off on the motorcycle, leaving the salesman in a cloud of black exhaust.

Hover text:  We actually stand around the antivirus displays with the Mac users just waiting for someone to ask.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: A stick figure is seated at a desk, facing left, typing on a laptop. Seated in a comfortable chair with his back to the first figure is another stick figure wearing a black hat and reading a book.
Hat Guy: “Did you know November is Tongue Awareness Month?
Panel Two: The first stick figure is frozen in the act of typing.
Panel Three: The first stick figure is still frozen in the act of typing.
Panel Four: The first stick figure has dropped his hands to his lap in defeat.
First Stick Figure: “I hate you.”
Hat Guy: (from off panel) “Enjoy the next four weeks.”

Hover Text: November marks the birthday of Charles Schulz, pioneer of tongue awareness.

(BlindGadget note: This xkcd references an old “Peanuts” comic in which Linus becomes aware of his tongue. See separate post for referenced Peanuts comic.)

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: A drawing of two stick figures standing in front of a book shelf. The first one has a book under one arm and is holding an open book in the other hand.

Person One: (looking at open book) “All your books are full of blank pages.”

Person Two: “Not true. That one has some ink on page 78.”

Person One: “A smudge.”

Person Two: “So?”

Panel Two: The two figures are facing each other and the one with the book brandishes it as he gestures.

Person One: “There are no words. You’re not reading. There’s no story there.”

Person Two: “Maybe not for you. When I look at those books, I think about all kinds of stories.”

Panel Three: Close up of Person Two as he pontificates.

Person Two: “Reading is about more than what’s on the page. Holding a book prompts my mind to enrich itself. Frankly, I suspect the book isn’t even necessary.”

Panel Four: The same two figures. Person One is looking down at the open book he is holding. Person Two is holding up a fist in emphasis.

Person Two: “The whole industry is evil. Greedy publishers and rich authors try to convince us our brains need their words. But I refuse to be a sucker.”

Person One: “Who sold you all these blank books?”

Hover text: I just noticed CVS has started stocking homeopathic pills on the same shelves with–and labeled similarly to–their actual medicine. Telling someone who trusts you that you’re giving them medicine, when you know you’re not, because you want their money, isn’t just lying–it’s like an example you’d make up if you had to illustrate for a child why lying is wrong.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: A stick figure wearing a green military style hat sits at a computer. The figure clicks a mouse and the computer reads “Welcome to the missile launch web interface!”

Panel Two: Same scene. The computer reads “Enter the target’s coordinates.” and the figure types.

Panel Three: Same scene. The computer reads “Enter your email address for our records.” The figure types.

Panel Four: Same scene. The computer reads “Enter your email address again, to ensure you typed it correctly.” The figure stares at the screen.

Hover text: I hear in some places, you need one form of ID to buy a gun, but two to pay for it by check. It’s interesting who has what incentives to care about what mistakes.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Scene: Drawing of a stick figure sitting at desk with a computer. Another stick figure is standing nearby.
Figure at Computer: Wow – Engines can burn vegetable oil.
Standing Figure: Well, sure. You can burn most any organic matter. Corn, leaves, spices…
Figure at Computer: Spices? Really?
Standing Figure: Sure – Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
Figure at Computer: …
Figure at Computer: We are no longer friends.

Hover text: I have nothing to apologize for.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Scene: A large brown wardrobe hurtles out of a gray-blue sky toward a darker gray-blue ocean. A hole has been drilled in the bottom of the wardrobe and a large ring inserted. A big black anchor chained to the ring dangles below. White letters against the dark of the ocean read:

Q = A(square root of 2gd)

Q = flow rate

A= area of opening

d = ocean depth (2 km)

g = Earth gravity

Flow:  ~400,000 liters/s

Water Jet Velocity: ~200 m/s

Caption:  The White Witch didn’t know what hit her.

Hover text:  If you fire a Portal gun through the door of the wardrobe, space and time knot together, which leads to a frustrated Aslan trying to impart Christian morality to the Space sphere.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Panel One: Drawing of a stick figure carrying an enormous bag over his shoulder and pulling a toy wagon loaded with a large model of the Eiffel Tower, an artist’s model of a torso, and a folded parasol leaning against a large wrapped box. A small black bomb, complete with fuse, sits atop the box.

Caption: You are not the light of my life.  Making you happy isn’t my greatest dream.

Panel Two: In silhouette, the stick figure stands between two large piles of similar items and is adding the enormous bag to one of the piles. A sword handle projects from one pile and two helium balloons are tied to the other.

Caption: Your smile is not all I live for. I’ve got my own stuff going on. But you’re strange and fascinating and I’ve never met anyone like you.

Panel Three: In silhouette, the stick figure is standing at the lower left, looking up at a female stick figure. She is standing on an enormous spikey-wheeled contraption, making an adjustment with a hand-held tool. A turret gun is mounted on top of the contraption next to a tall, smoke-belching stack, which is next to a shorter domed pipe, which is next to a crane derrick. A lower level at the back supports a satellite dish.

Caption: I want to give you everything. Just to see what you’d do with it.

Hover text: I wanna hold your hand so I don’t fall out of your gyrocopter.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

A web comic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Scene: Full color rolling field of golden wheat, with fluffy clouds in the sky. In the foreground are two stick figures, drawn in black and white. The one on the left has long, dark hair. The one on the right has no hair.

Person on the left: “Well, when we observe them, they become amber particles of grain.”

Hover text: Colorado is working to develop coherent amber waves, which would allow them to finally destroy Kansas and Nebraska with a devastating but majestic grain laser.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.