April 30, 2017

XKCD Web Comic #1086: Eyelash Wish Log (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

http://what-if.xkcd.com

This week: What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?

Scene: A page from an Eyelash Wish Log

Under the title, “Eyelash Wish Log,” is a small icon-like picture of a stick figure wearing a black hat, captioned “Wisher.”

To the right of the picture it reads

Wish Bureau ID#  21118378

Date Range: Jan-Apr 2012

Below is a table:

Date Wish
Jan 09

Jan 12

Jan 15

Jan 19

Jan 20

Jan 28

Feb 05

Feb 06

Feb 08

Feb 12

Feb 12

Feb 19

Feb 23

Feb 27

Feb 29

Mar 07

Mar 15

Mar 23

Mar 29

Apr 02

Apr 07

Apr 08

Apr 15

Apr 22

That wishing on eyelashes worked

A Pony

Unlimited wishes

Revocation of rules prohibiting unlimited wishes

A finite but arbitrarily large number of wishes

The power to dictate the rules governing wishes

Unlimited eyelashes

Wish-granting entities must interpret wishes according to intent of wisher

That wish-granting entities be incapable of impatience

Unlimited bread sticks

Veto power over other’s wishes

Veto power over others’ wishes and all congressional legislation

The power to override any veto

The power to see where any shortened URL goes without clicking

The power to control the direction news anchors are looking while they talk

The power to introduce arbitrary error into Nate Silver’s predictions

A house of stars

A universe which is a replica of this one sans rules against meta-wishes

Free transportation to and from that universe

A clear explanation of how wish rules are structured and enforced

The power to banish people into the TV show they are talking about

Zero wishes

Veto power over clocks

A Pokay ball that works on strangers’ pets

 

Hover text: Ooh, another one. Uh. . .the ability to alter any coefficients of friction at will during sporting events.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

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