May 25, 2024

XKCD Web Comic #1063: Kill Hitler (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.


Panel One: Drawing of two stick figures standing in front of a time machine. The figure on the left is wearing a black hat.

Black Hat Guy: I finished my time machine, but it’s one-use-only.

Other Guy: You gotta kill Hitler.

Panel Two: Close up on Black Hat Guy.

Black Hat Guy: Why are you so obsessed with this Hitler guy? We have all of time we could explore!

Panel Three: Close up on the other guy.

Other Guy: He’s evil incarnate! He murdered millions and sparked global war! Everyone agreesIf you get a time machine, you kill Hitler.

Panel Four: Black Hat Guy enters the time machine as the other guy watches.

Black Hat Guy: Fine, fine, I get it! Calm down.—BRB, killing Hitler.

Panel Five: Black Hat Guy comes out of the time machine as the other guy watches.

Black Hat Guy: There. Done. Are you happy?

Other Guy: Thank you.

Black Hat Guy: He was in some kind of bunker. 1945 was loud!

Other Guy: NO!

Hover text: Revised directive: It is forbidden for you to interfere with human history until you’ve at least taken a class on it.


Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

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