August 17, 2019

XKCD Web Comic #1062: Budget News (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

Scene: Front page of The Daily News. The headline reads “Deficit Hawk Attacked By Regular One.” To the right of the headline is a photo of a stick figure with a thick head of hair standing behind a lectern on a stage, the tops of the heads of the people in the audience in front just visible at the bottom of the photo. A hawk is flying at the stick figure’s face, which he is holding one arm in front of in defense as he leans backward from the attack.

Hover text: I will vote, no questions asked, for any candidate who describes themselves as “more of a deficit sugar glider.”

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

XKCD Web Comic #1061: EST (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

xkcd presents

Earth Standard Time

(EST)

A Universal Calendar for a Universal Planet

EST is. . .

Simple – Clearly Defined – Unambiguous – Free of Historical Baggage – Compatible with Old Units – Precisely Synced with the Solar Cycle – Free  0f Leap Years – Intermittently Amenable to Date Math

Panel:

Units

Second: 1 SI Second

Minute: 60 Seconds

Hour: 60 Minutes

Day: 1444 Minutes (24 hours 4 minutes

Month: 30 Days

Year: 12 Months

Rules

For 4 hours after every full moon, run clocks backward.

The non-prime-numbered minutes of the first full non-reversed hour after a solstice or Equinox happen twice.

Epoch00:00:00 EST      January 1, 1970  =00:00:00 GMT, January 1, 1970   (Julian Calendar) Time ZonesThe two EST Time Zones are                   EST and EST (United Kingdom)These are the same except that the           UK second is 0.9144 Standard Seconds

Daylight Saving: Countries may enter DST, but no time may pass there.

Narnian Time: Synchronized (check)

Year Zero: EST does have a year 0 (However, there is no 1958.)

Hover text: The month names are the same, except that the fourth month only has the name “April” in even-numbered years, and is otherwise unnamed.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

XKCD Web Comic #1060: Crowdsourcing (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

Scene: Drawing of a stick figure with a pointer, standing in front of a pull-down screen with a diagram. Three other stick figures stand facing the first, in various attitudes of interest. One holds a briefcase in her hand.

Figure 1: We crowdsource the design process, allowing those with the best designs to connect–via already-in-place social networking infrastructure–with interested manufacturers, distributors, and marketers.

Caption

Nobody caught on that our business plan didn’t involve us in any way–it was just a description of other people making and selling products.

Hover text: We don’t sell products; we sell the marketplace. And by “sell the marketplace” we mean “play shooters, sometimes for upwards of 20 hours straight.”

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

XKCD Web Comic #1059: Bel-Air (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language

 

Panel One: Drawing of a stick figure sitting in a comfy chair and watching television.

Television: Well, my posh Bel-Air life took a turn for the worse.

Panel Two: Same as Panel One.

Television: It’s a story best related in a doggerel verse.

Panel Three: Same as Panel One.

Television: So kick back, relax, and lemme put on some Adele for ya,

Panel Four: Same as Panel One, except the stick figure is using the remote.

Television: While I tell you why I’m running for Mayor of Phila–click (the figure has turned off the television).

Hover text: Aaron Sorkin has been tapped to write the TV movie about the aging prince’s eventual election to Pat Toomey’s Senate seat, currently titled either “FRESHman Senator”or “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

XKCD Web Comic #1058: Old-Timers (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Panel One: Drawing of a stick figure with scraggly hair and beard, sitting at a desk with a computer and typing on a keyboard.

Person 1, typing: Whatever, noob. I’ve been on the internet since the BBS days.

Reply from Computer Screen: Wrong.

Panel Two: A stick figure with dark hair piled up on her head kneels on a chair at a desk with a computer and types on a keyboard.

Person 2, typing: Before I was born, a lab took egg and sperm samples from my parents and sequenced the DNA.

Panel Three: Same as Panel One, except the stick figure is reading the screen, not typing.

Person 2, onscreen: They emailed the genome to the Venter Institute, where they synthesized the genome and implanted it into sperm and eggs which became me.

Panel Four: Same as Panel Two.

Person 2, typing: So, no. You’ve looked at the internet. – I’ve been there.

Hovertext: You were on the internet before I was born? Well, so was I.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

XKCD Web Comic #1057: Klout (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

Panel One: Drawing of a stick figure standing, facing forward.

Person 1: I’d like to ask a favor. – If someday, in the future, we meet in person,

Panel Two: Same as Panel One, but zoomed out slightly.

Person 1: And if, as of that day, I’ve interacted with Klout in any way except to opt out, – I want you to punch me in the face without warning.

Panel Three: Close up on the stick figure’s face.

Person 1: This may sound like a joke, so let me be clear: I am dead serious. – Ignore anything I say retracting this. – Thank you.

Hover text: Though please do confirm that it’s actually *me* on Klout first, and not one of my friends trying to get me punched. The great thing about this douchebag deadman switch is that I will never dare trigger it.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

XKCD Web Comic #1056: Felidae (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scene: A chart labeled “Well-known Felines:”

The Y-axis is labeled “Genuses in order of which would win in a fight” with an arrow pointing up. The X-axis is labeled “Species sorted by Coolness of Name” with an arrow pointing to the right.

The bottom name on the Y-axis is “Felis & Lynx“. The names in this row on the X-axis are “Housecat,” “Bobcat,” “Wildcat,” and “Lynx.”

The next name up the Y-axis is “Other Felidae,” with “Ocelot” and “Cheetah” along the X-axis. “Cheetah” is circled with red, with a red arrow pointing up to “Puma” on the next row up.

The next name up the Y-axis is “Puma (these are all names for puma concolor),” with “Cougar,” “Puma,” “Panther,” and “Mountain Lion” in this row along the X-axis. “Puma,” which has an arrow pointing to it from “Cheetah,” is also circled in red with an arrow pointing up to “Jaguar” in the row above. “Jaguar” is also circled in red with an arrow pointing back to “Panther” in the row below, which in turn is circled in red with an arrow pointing to “Tiger” in the row above.

The next name up the Y-axis is “Panthera,” with “Jaguar,” “Leopard,” “Snow Leopard,” “Tiger,” and “Lion” in a row along the X-axis. “Leopard” is circled in red with an arrow pointing to the name next to it, “Snow Leopard,” also circled in red and which has an arrow that jumps across “Tiger” to point at “Lion,” which is in turn circled with red and has an arrow pointing down to “Mountain Lion,” which is circled with a dashed red line. “Tiger” is also circled in red and has an arrow pointing back to “Leopard.”

Following the red arrows, the order is “Cheetah,” “Puma,” “Jaguar,” “Panther,” “Tiger,” “Leopard,” “Snow Leopard,”  “Lion,” and “Mountain Lion.”

Hover text: “Smilodon” narrowly edged out “Tyrannosaurus rex”; to win this year’s Most Badass Latin Names competition, after edging out “Dracorex hogwartsia” and “Stygimoloch spinifer” (meaning “horned dragon from the river of death”) in the semifinals.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

XKCD Web Comic #1055: Kickstarter (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

Scene: Drawing of a Kickstarter webpage. In the top left quadrant is a paused video with the Black Hat Guy in front of another Kickstarter screen with the title “The Perfect Kickstarter.” Down the right side of the screen is the list of backers so far (zero), amount pledged of $5,000 (zero $), days to go (90). Under that is a caption: This project will only be funded if at least $5,000 is raised by the end of the 90-day period. Below the caption is a green button that reads: Back this project $10 minimum pledge. Below the button, it reads “Pledge $10 or more” and then lists the number of backers (zero).

On the left lower quadrant, under the video, it reads:

Time was, anyone with a webcam and an idea could raise boatloads of cash on Kickstarter. But with increased popularity comes tougher competition. Now, to get support, you need a really stand out video or compelling write-up.

I have an idea for a Kickstarter campaign that could raise millions, but I need your help to craft the perfect pitch.

If I raise $5,000 I’ll be able to devote the…(the rest is off-screen)

Hover text: If you pledge more than $50 you’ll get on the VIP list and have first dibs on a slot on ANY of the pledge levels in the actual campaign.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

XKCD Web Comic #1054: The bacon (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

Scene: Drawing of two stick figures standing and talking. The one on the left is wearing a white boater-style hat.

Hat Guy: I’m out of work, but I’m not stressed about it because my wife is a pharmacist and she brings home the bacon.

Caption

Only later did I learn that “the bacon” is the common name for dihydrocodeine enol acetate, a synthetic opioid similar to vicodin.

Hover text: Normally pronounced “THEH-buh-kon”, I assume.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

XKCD Web Comic #1053: Ten Thousand (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Panel One:

Caption

I try not to make fun of people for admitting they don’t know things. Because for each thing “everyone knows” by the time they’re adults, every day there are, on average 10,000 people in the U S hearing about it for the first time.

Fraction who have heard of it at birth = 0%

Fraction who have heard of it by 30 approximately = 100%

U S Birth Rate approximately = 4,000,000/year

Number hearing about it for the first time approximately = 10,000/day

Panel Two: Drawing of two stick figures. The one on the left has shoulder-length dark hair. The one on the right is walking away toward the right and beckoning to the other one.

Caption

If I make fun of people, I train them not to tell me when they have those moments. And I miss out on the fun.

Person 1: “Diet coke and Mentos thing”? What’s that?

Person 2: Oh man! Come on, we’re going to the grocery store.

Person 1: Why?

Person 2: You’re one of today’s lucky 10,000.

Hover text: Saying “what kind of an idiot doesn’t know about the Yellowstone supervolcano” is so much more boring than telling someone about the Yellowstone supervolcano for the first time.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

XKCD Web Comic #1037a: Umwelt (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

(There’s something about Mondays.  Again, this Monday’s comic is going to take a little more time than usual, so we are filling in with another Umwelt variation.-BG)

 

 

Panel One: Drawing of two stick figures sitting in rolley chairs on either side of a table, with open laptops in front of each.

Person 1: Stop jiggling your leg.

Person 2: I’m not ji-oh.

Person 1: What?

Person 2: You’ll get it.

Panel Two: Gray lines indicating shaking are drawn around everything from the first panel, with the word “Rumble” in gray in the middle of the panel. The first figure has stood up and is waving his arms about in alarm. Person 2 sits back nonchalantly in her slightly-swiveling chair.

Person 1: . . . Holy crap it’s an earthquake!

Person 2: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

Panel Three: The shaking has stopped. Person 1 is still standing, but Person 2 has gone back to her laptop.

Person 1: But this is Oklahoma! That was HUGE!

Person 2: Seriously? That’s the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.

Person 1: Oh, really. . .

Panel Four:

Caption

Six Months Later. . .

A small house, two trees and a set of open storm shelter doors are in the path of an oncoming black tornado, which tears up the earth as it moves. Voices are coming out of the storm shelter.

Person 2: AAAAAAAAAAAA! CLOSE THE SHELTER DOOR!

Person 1: Say the magic words. . .

Person 2: This place is the worst!

Person 1: Thank you.

Hover text: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit–from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

XKCD Web Comic #1051: Visited (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

Scene: Close up of a computer screen displaying a Wikipedia page. Some of the hyper links are blue and some are purple, indicating that they have been clicked at some point. Square brackets indicate hyperlinks

Screen: (in media res) and was a pioneer of literary [social realism-blue].

He was born in [Dos Hermanas-blue] in the [Andalusia-blue] region of [Spain-blue] (not to be confused with [Andalasia-purple] the kingdom in Disney’s [Enchanted-purple]), which is also the hometown of [Macarena-purple] band [Los Del Rio-purple].

His [third novel-blue], set during the [Burmese-Siamese War-blue], marked the start of a lifelong interest in the [history of Southeast Asia-blue]. He spent his later years in [Thailand-blue], writing his final novels just a few blocks from the hotel where actor [David Carradine-purple] died of [autoerotic asphyxiation-purple].

Caption: If I go for a while withou clearing my browser history, I start getting embarrassed by which words on Wikipedia show up in purple.

Hover text: I hate when I read something like “… tension among the BASE jumpers nearly led to wingsuit combat …,” and I get excited because “wingsuit combat” is underlined, only to find that it’s just separate links to the “wingsuit” and “combat” articles.

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.

XKCD Web Comic #1050: Forgot Algebra (described)

A web comic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

 


Scene: Drawing of three stick figures. The figure on the right has long, blonde hair and is walking away to the right and looking over and back at the other two. The two figures on the left, a taller one with short hair and a shorter one with long, dark hair, are standing together farther away and looking toward the figure on the right. The shorter one is holding her hands up to her face and lines indicating sound are coming from her mouth.

Shouting Woman: Hey, Miss Lenhart! I forgot everything about Algebra the moment I graduated, and in 20 years no one has needed me to solve anything for X! – I told  you I would never use it! – In your face!

Caption: It’s weird how proud people are of not learning Math when the same arguments apply to learning to play music, cook, or speak a foreign language.

 

Hover text: The only things you HAVE to know are how to make enough of a living to stay alive and how to get your taxes done. All the fun parts of life are optional.

 

 

Warning: This comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.