XKCD Web Comic #989: Cryogenics (described)

A webcomic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.

 

 

Panel One: Drawing of two stick figures standing together and talking. The figure on the left has shoulder-length dark hair and is hold a small device like a cellphone, the figure on the right wears a white hat.

Dark-haired figure: Everyone’s carrying sensor-packed, always-connected computers everywhere. That wasn’t true ten years ago.

White Hat Guy: It’s all changing too fast, huh?

Dark-haired figure: No, too slowly.

Panel Two: Closeup of dark-haired figure with cellphone.

Dark-haired figure: There’s so much potential here. These clumsy, poorly-designed toys are nothing compared to what lies ahead.

Panel Three: The dark-haired figure is climbing into a long, hinge-lidded, coffin-like box with hoses attached to one end as White Hat Guy looks on.

Dark-haired figure: That’s why I’ve worked to develop cryogenic freezing.–I’m gonna skip forward 30 years and use this stuff when it’s good.

Panel Four, labeled “30 Years Later…”: The dark-haired figure is climbing out of the box, slightly frazzled and frosted. Another stick figure is standing beside the box.

Stick figure: Welcome to the future! Nothing’s changed!

Dark-haired figure: What? Why??

Panel Five: Same scene except now a long, shadowy line of cryogenic boxes can be seen, most of them opening to show other stick figures waking up.

Stick figure: When cryogenic freezing was invented, all the engineers who were excited about the future froze themselves. So there’s been no one building anything new.

Panel Six: Different view of stick figure talking to the dark-haired figure.

Stick figure: But they’re all waking up now!

Dark-haired figure: Sweet! I’m gonna jump forward to see what they do!

Off-panel: Me, too!

Off-panel: Wait, uh, guys?

Hover text: “Welcome to the future! Nothing’s changed.” was the slogan of my astonishingly short-lived tech startup.

 

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Comic by xkcd.com. Described by BlindGadget under the Creative Commons license.